She lay there. In waiting. Of sleep to consume her.
She welcomed the darkness. In it, with her demons, she felt at home.
She wanted to shut her eyes and not see. Not feel. Not be.
She wanted to not wake in the morning. This morning, a distant place, shrouded in haze and smoke and unpleasant; a pungent smell, a distant dream mornings always seamed.
She craved this oblivion, this calmness between the storm of her life.
She wanted to be enlightened and to uplift those she could.
She wanted to beam down from far above and not look upto the heavens for guidance.
She wanted to be one with the winds, fly around lifeless like a feather full of exuberance.
She sometimes felt she was a bundle of wants and wishes and seldom about needs, for her needs were simple and small.
She wasn't the fear that she was taught to believe in.
She was strength, stronger than a gale and stronger than the crashing waves.
She was strong, stronger than the wrath of nature and the heat of the sun's glare and stronger still than gravity's pull.
She was a force, a mountain blanketed in rain clouds, a hailstorm in a parched desert, a fireball running through a snowfield.
She was chaos, an endearing complexity, porous like a brick, a swaying field of wheat.
She was created to soar in the night sky and she wouldnt let anyone tell her otherwise.
She welcomed the darkness. In it, with her demons, she felt at home.
She wanted to shut her eyes and not see. Not feel. Not be.
She wanted to not wake in the morning. This morning, a distant place, shrouded in haze and smoke and unpleasant; a pungent smell, a distant dream mornings always seamed.
She craved this oblivion, this calmness between the storm of her life.
She wanted an emptiness, her soul to float in the uncertainty of existence.
She, who was made of magic dust and sparkle, she who shined bright like polished charcoal, she wanted to be one amongst the stars, the faintest of them at the least. Somewhere far away from the pain, from the fear and the disappointment and the sorrow and grief of surviving. She wanted to be enlightened and to uplift those she could.
She wanted to beam down from far above and not look upto the heavens for guidance.
She wanted to be one with the winds, fly around lifeless like a feather full of exuberance.
She sometimes felt she was a bundle of wants and wishes and seldom about needs, for her needs were simple and small.
She wasn't the fear that she was taught to believe in.
She was strength, stronger than a gale and stronger than the crashing waves.
She was strong, stronger than the wrath of nature and the heat of the sun's glare and stronger still than gravity's pull.
She was a force, a mountain blanketed in rain clouds, a hailstorm in a parched desert, a fireball running through a snowfield.
She was chaos, an endearing complexity, porous like a brick, a swaying field of wheat.
She was created to soar in the night sky and she wouldnt let anyone tell her otherwise.
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